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Monday, May 01, 2006

Graham I miss you

Two years ago around this time of year I was visiting my boyfriend in the Hospital everyday.
He was partially paralyzed from the lung cancer at this point.
I don't want to go into those details with you.
I remember it was spring and the tree's were just budding as I would walk to the hospital from the Metro carrying a Tim Hortons coffee, other treats and some CD's for him. I would play his favourite CD's. I entertained him him as best I could. I stayed strong for his family and for him and for me. One day we were listening to The Carpenters 'We've only just begun'. I started crying. Graham was surprised. I am only so strong. We only had three years together. We had only just begun. It was not long after that day that we rode in the ambulance to the palliative care home on the South Shore. La maison Victor-Gadbois is the name of that Home. His room had a nice view of the budding trees. They could even wheel his bed outside if he wanted.
I remember seeing a soaring Hawk or Eagle hovering over the home that day.
I did not drive at the time so I got lifts there with his family every day. I did not miss a day. I was holding one of his hands, his parents held the other one when he passed away.
Some details are too painful to blog. Just do me a favour, please don't smoke!
The reason I bring this up today is that his cemetery is not far from that palliative care home he spent his final days in. I will be driving there today all by myself for the first time. I have been putting that solo visit off. I decided to do it today before I go visit with his parents.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'll be thinking of you and of Graham as you make your trip today. I hope it brings you some peace.

Barbara said...

(((((Barbara B))))) thank you.
I just got back. It was a very nice visit all round. The two year anniversary of his passing is coming up June 2nd. I needed to get some of 'this' out of my system before then.

Neutron said...

Good luck...these things take their time.

goldfox04 said...

I'm sorry... good luck from Italy

Ellee said...

I mourn with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. In time it will get a little easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

Barbara said...

Thank you (((Neutron))), grazie (((goldfox04))) and big hugs ((((Ellee)))). It does get easier then I run into a reminder. I think I have this in balance though.

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