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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Forget about trying to be. Who am I now?


I was dropping my nephew off at the local arena for hockey camp on my way to work and then it struck me. "who's life did I just borrow?" I don't mind in the least about dropping him off but it made me feel like a hockey mom for a second. There are so many things I am doing now as I live my new life in Toronto that I have never done before. Not radical things. Just things I did not think I was ever going to do. Like commute to work via the 401 or work for a banking institution... Not bad things. I ain't complaining, but it still does not feel like my life yet.
I am sure there are many more new things I will discover about my new life that will give me pause. I will ask myself again and again, is this me? Is this who I am now? Am I in the right place? Should I make a right turn? By and by I am sure I will get to know who I am in this new scene. I'll dig a new rut and get comfy or chose to keep it ever changing.

Plans for the weekend include going to see Lord Of The Rings, the huge production play. I will be accompanied by my niece and nephew.
It's a holiday weekend, I still have more plans to make...

8 comments:

kees said...

It must be strange for you, but in a good way! I'm amazed at how quickly you've filled up your new Toronto life - and your niece and nephew must be loving it!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Changing cities is much more stressful than we realise it will be. I hated leaving London and hated Calgary for the first year. I had nobody here except Jerry and Eva and had left behind a large warm community.

I hope having your family so close helps with your new life, even if it doesn't feel like your life sometimes.

Jas Bhambra said...

So true, changing cities is stressful. I hated Calgary when I left NJ and NY. I was lucky to have wonderful people at work, who helped me settle down. Although I don't hate Calgary now, I still crave for NJ/NY.

We all are trying to find what we are and what we are trying to be...by and by the answers will come and the picture will get clearer.

Ben said...

You'll find lots and lots more to discover as you go on I'm sure Barbara. Seems like you're doing well so far.

Barbara said...

I am lucky I have the family that I do and it helps a great deal to have half of them close by. I am loving the new city. It's a bit like a honeymoon right now. We'll see how it goes after the honeymoon... As far as the stress goes I seem to be going with the flow and the stress has not caught up with me. I will be driving back to Montreal thanksgiving weekend. Doing that and coming back may be the test...

Allison said...

Its not so bad once you get used to the traffic, I've made the commute enough, pretty soon you'll have it down. As long as you have good music, it makes the transit easier!

Barbara said...

I am getting used to the traffic. I am still playing the music mix CD I made for the trip from Mtl to TO. also listening to Jack FM...

Evelyne said...

I'm glad to hear that things are doing well in Toronto, that soon, you'll start feeling like home in that big city.