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Monday, July 10, 2006

From a mans perspective (ty J.C. for the email)

more jokes from my email

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, a little wine and companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Friday.

We sleep in separate beds, hers in Sydney mine in Melbourne.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked her where she wanted to go for our anniversary, "Somewhere I haven't been for a long time" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, an electric toaster and an electric breadmaker. When she said that she had too many gadgets, but nowhere to sit down, I bought her an electric chair.

Remember that marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right, I just didn't know that her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to her for eighteen months - I don't like to interrupt her.

The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked "What's on the TV? " I said "Dust".

In the beginning; God created the earth and rested. Then, God created man and rested. Then God created a woman. And since then, neither God nor man has rested.

9 comments:

Ariel S. Hyre said...

Oh, dear. >.<

Barbara Bruederlin said...

groan...

Barbara said...

ah common it's funny... lol

Becky said...

Oh dear... lol.

Alana said...

The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked "What's on the TV? " I said "Dust".

That one made me giggle. :P

Barbara said...

Tha's all that is on my tv at the moment too.

ME Ellee said...

Barbara,
This is hilarious! LOL, LOL, LOL
My husband and I have been married a good long time, AND there IS dust on my TV, and on my end tables, and on my dresser, and on his dresser, and on the desk and on the printer, and on the window sills and on just about everything else, including him, but you know what? I DON'T CARE!!! and I don't stress over it because NOW I can't see it anymore, that is unless some grandkid DRAWS in it---and I try to discourage that particular art activity, directing them instead to the huge picture window where they can do handprints and various kinds of smearings with all sorts of kid art medium like boogers and snot or sundry food items. LOL

I also wanted to tell you I never made it to Canada, so there will be another episode of Anderchronicles---you won't have to wait until next week, after all. Have a great weekend.
Ellee

Ocean said...

LOL Well now I know why he holds my hand when we go shopping ;)

Barbara said...

Cool Ellee looking forward to reading it!
You got it Ocean. The secret of handholding is out.